Wedding Days

I have had the pleasure of going to a good number of weddings. Probably at least ten. Each one was special, and a delight to be at. Old friends from home. Old friends from college. I have been to both coasts (twice to California), and one place in between (Houston, TX). I have been in the wedding party, sitting in the "green room" waiting for things to start. More often I have been a guest, roaming the reception halls, waiting for the couple to arrive.

I've missed weddings too. There have been weddings of friends that I wish I had been invited to, and there have been weddings that I couldn't attend. There was even one wedding that I didn't even muster the common courtesy of responding, and I kick myself over that faux pas.

Some friends and acquaintances on my side and my wife's side remain single, and I not-so-secretly wish to attend their weddings, if that day arrives. I also have relatives and in-laws with young adults, and they might get married one day. Maybe I'll get to their wedding, as one of those B-list guests.

This weekend, I'm attending my youngest brother's wedding. I can't wait.

My Dad the Barber

I'm bald, so my trips to the barber shop are buzz cuts (3-metal). No fuss, no muss. But back in my hair days, back when I was growing up, I had hair, and the person who cut that hair was my father, my Dad.

Was it the expense of cutting hair for three boys that led my Dad to this? If so, I certainly wasn't aware of it. What I was aware of, and what I most remember was discomfort. Other boys were talking about trips to the barber shop. Even my Dad got his hair cut at a barber. Me? My "old man" was my barber.

During the summers, when I most needed a hair cut, Dad would cut my hair outside ("al fresco hair cutting?"). There we were, in our backyard, people walking by, watching my hair getting cut. It felt mildly embarrassing. For a smock, to cover me during the hair cut, Dad would use a garbage bag. He would cut out slots so we could "wear" it over our head.

My first trip to a barber other than my Dad was in college. I had no idea how to talk to a barber. "Uh, make it shorter?" I had no clue about blocking versus tapering, buzz versus styled. I felt a mild frustration: my Dad didn't prepare me! Of course, over time, I learned the lingo, and developed a rapport with these barbers.

My Dad and I didn't have much of a hair cutting rapport. He was "the strong and silent" type when I was growing up. But to make talk, he'd always ask after my friends. I wouldn't be surprised if I offered only vague responses. When I think back now, I imagine how the answer to that one question would have changed over the years, from grade school, through high school, and yes, even through college.

A whole young lifetime has gone now. Him quietly cutting my hair. Me growing up.

I worry now whether I ever properly showed my gratitude. Parents do things for kids without their even knowing the effort behind it. I know this now as a father. From the food on their plate, to the clothes on their backs, a child can take it all for granted. They should.

Thank you, Dad, for all those hair cuts when I was growing up. You know I don't need them anymore, but sometimes I wish I did.

"Law & Order": At Least We'll Have Repeats

The "original" Law & Order is being canceled by NBC. This is the hour-long cops and lawyers television show which takes place in New York City. The first half-hour focuses on the cops chasing the bad guys (the crime is almost always murder), and the second half-hour focuses on the prosecutors who try to put them behind bars. The show has been on the air for twenty years, a feat of endurance that has given it the nickname "the mother ship" for those in the television business.

I'll miss Law & Order, but I wasn't a regular viewer of the current show (featuring Jeremy Sisto and Linus Roache). I primarily watch Law & Order on syndication (TNT), where I root for episodes with Benjamin Bratt and Jerry Orbach.

Part of the joy of watching repeats is the comfortable familiarity. In the first minute of a Law & Order repeat, my wife and I will see who can identify the episode the fastest. In a show with over 400 episodes, we are frequently stumped. However, even when we know who the perpetrator is, it's still entertaining watching the cops finally grabbing them, and the prosecutors (almost always Sam Waterston, who plays ADA Jack McCoy) finally "nailing" them.

Since the show has run for so long, the list of supporting cast is very long. If you pull up IMDb's "full credits" page for Law & Order, be prepared to spend lots of time scrolling! And because of its longevity, the repeats often feature a star or two (notable to me: Edie Falco, who went on to play Carmella Soprano on "The Sopranos"; Sam Rockwell, who recently starred in Moon; Laura Linney, who was in "Mystic River"; and Denis O'Hare, who had that great opening scene in "Michael Clayton").

It's replacement? Law & Order: Los Angeles. I love LA, but it's not New York City. New York's neighborhoods are more dense, and closer together. For the LA series, I would think that the cops will spend more time driving to get to the scene of the crime (Los Angeles is over 490 square miles). I also have this suspicion that the LA version will feature more car and helicopter chases, at which point I may as well be watching "Cops".

That said, one of my favorite L & O episodes is a three-part show (Season 7, Episodes 15, 16, 17) in which the cops and prosecutors have to cross the country to nab a suspect in Los Angeles. Hollywood lawyers versus New York lawyers (with Carey Lowell playing Jack's assistant district attorney). The cops are gleeful fish out of water: Jerry Orbach hitting golf balls, and Bratt's character getting hit on by an attractive movie producer, played by Lauren Graham.

Is it too soon to ask the screenwriters to create the "Los Angeles cops visit New York City" episode?

The Middle of Parenthood

My daughter Mia turned nine years old a few days ago.

My wife jokingly said "we only have another nine years to go!" I smiled. In another nine years, Mia will turn 18, technically an adult. Do I really have that little time left with my daughter as a "child"?

Sometimes I find myself staring at her. How did that little baby we had nine years ago become this big girl? I look long and hard at her face, picking out my features, my wife's features. I watch her while she reads or plays video games or sits at the computer, and I think I can see her adult demeanor. I hear Mia talking and I think I can hear her all grown up. I hold her hand, and I imagine it the size of mine.

Mia has an interest in the adult world. We drive by the middle school and high school. When we go into town, we point out where Jenn went to college. She's been to my office. There's a very interesting future waiting for her, and she seems up for it.

Maybe this is the middle of parenthood. A fond remembrance of the baby she was, but an eagerness for the adult she will become. Nine more years. It almost seems too short.

Discovering Sudoku

I first noticed Sudoku puzzles a few years ago. My father had started doing them. When he would visit, he'd find the unfinished Sudoku puzzle in my newspaper, and work on it. One time I remember him bringing a book or magazine full of Sudoku puzzles, and he would diligently work on them. He looked content solving them.

Somehow I stayed away. I didn't "get" how to solve Sudoku. Or maybe it was the Dad factor, as in "my Dad does old-school Sudoku, but I prefer new-school Wii."

Earlier this year, I bought one of those PennyPress puzzle magazines. My daughter had wanted to do some Word Seek puzzles. She asked me about some of the harder puzzles in the magazine, and I went to the PennyPress' website for some help. While meandering the site, I eventually found "How to Solve Sudoku" (PDF).

I was somewhat surprised that there was a logic to figuring out Sudoku. All this time watching my Dad, I thought it was largely guess work. I was wrong! I skimmed the document, fascinated that there were names for the "deductions" used to solve Sudoku (things like "X-Wing", "Locked Candidate", and "Naked Pair"). The descriptions for how to solve the puzzles plus the charts got me excited, and I downloaded a Sudoku game for my iPod.

The first puzzle took me almost an hour to do, but after finishing, I knew I had found a new habit. It's a satisfying feeling solving a Sudoku puzzle. I "get it" now. My brain feels like it's been exercised. I sent an e-mail to my Dad, telling him about my recent discovery with Sudoku, and he was glad.

Of late, I've taken to solving my newspaper's Sudoku puzzle. Solving these on paper is a delight, but they do get progressively harder, the most difficult being on Friday. I'll have to remember to save that one for my Dad next time he visits.

Best Movies Watched in 2009

I watched 47 movies in 2009.

My favorite movie from 2009 was District 9, followed by The Wrestler and The Hurt Locker. All three I saw in the theater. My favorite movie on DVD? The Dark Knight.

Thanks to my daughter, I plunged into some great animated movies, including Kung Fu Panda, The Iron Giant, Madagascar, and Monster House. All of these feature child-friendly entertainment with plenty of "only adults will laugh" humor.

One other movie deserves special mention: It Might Get Loud. This is a loving documentary about playing guitar, featuring three quite famous guitarists: Jack White (of The White Stripes), The Edge (of U2), and Jimmy Page (of Led Zeppelin). Watching Page play the air guitar is worth the price of renting this superb film. Each of the three meditate on playing, on creativity, on their motivations. It's a special film: go see it.

• Best DVD Commentary: Bottle Rocket
• Favorite Male Acting: Orson Welles (The Third Man)
• Favorite Female Acting: Catherine Keener (The 40 Year Old Virgin)
• Finally Glad I Watched: American Splendor, Shooter, City of God.

Best Books Read in 2009

I read 37 books last year. I attribute the increase due to my current project, which has me on an airplane pretty regularly, reading some genre fiction.

My favorite non-fiction book from last year was Tube: The Invention of Television (David E. Fisher). I've always had a fascination for television, and how it works. This was my first book on the history of TV, and it was fascinating. I did follow up this book with Defining Vision (Joel Brinkley), which provided a recent history on the "invention" of high-definition television.

Honorable non-fiction mentions: God is Not Great (Christopher Hichens), Three Weeks in October (Charles Moose), Fatal Vision (Joe McGinniss). (The last two got me started on the "true crime" genre.)

My favorite fiction book from last year is between The Dying Earth (Jack Vance) and The Blue Hour (T. Jefferson Parker).

I've already written about why The Dying Earth captured my imagination. The Blue Hour is your basic police procedural. The detective in charge is a woman named Merci Rayborn. She's assigned a new partner, Tim Hess, and they have to investigate a string of grisly crime scenes and abductions. I really enjoyed the characters in this book. Merci jumps off the page as a law enforcer with a too-gruff personality. Tim's just perfect as the old cop who mentors her. I felt swept up in this basic cops-chasing-bad-guys book.

Honorable fiction mentions: Shoedog (George Pelecanos), The Assistants (Robin Lynn Williams), Diary of a Mad Old Man (Junichiro Tanizaki), The Enemy (Lee Child). (The last one was recommended to me by my youngest brother, and it starts me off on the Jack Reacher series.)